“Welcome once again to the Pollution Museum ‘The Dirtiest Place on Planet Earth. My name is Professor Phillip Filthmaker, better known in environmental circles as ‘Filthy Phil’, the curator of the Pollution Museum and your tour guide for today.
Please note that dizziness, shortness of breath, uncontrollable gagging, upset stomach, unpleasant odors, spontaneous anger and the immediate desire to save the planet are all intended responses of the Pollution Museum. If at any time you need to take a break and return later, we certainly understand. Please watch where you step at all times and do not touch anything. Photography is permitted and we encourage you to forward your pollution images to your local politicians and demand immediate action. Eating and drinking are allowed during the tour. However, for your safety and the health of all living things; plastic straws, plastic bottles, plastic bags and Styrofoam packaging are not available at the museum but unfortunately you can still find these toxic products at most other places. We kindly ask that you dispose of all trash responsibly and always recycle whenever possible. I welcome your questions as the Pollution Museum believes education is a key solution to our current environmental challenges. Now let’s get started”.